I went to a wedding last month and one of the guests bought a food grinder off of the registry but told the couple he bought it so they could grind up babies.
I would imagine that would work do.


I want a baby, but G-d won't give me one because I'm friends with Jennie.
Tam | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 10:32 am | #

Remember at your wedding cookout when we were telling dead baby jokes?
Jennie! | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 10:35 am | #

You want to know why babies suck? They screw with your mind! They're all "Ok, I'm ready to be born now," and then a little bit later, "Whoops, false alarm!" And in the meantime I get all freaked out like, "Holy crap, babies need a lot of stuff and I only have a little stuff, and I need to go to the store RIGHT NOW to buy things, and boy, I sure hope my water doesn't break in the store. Or in my car on the way there."

(Has it become blatantly obvious that I'm ready to pop soon?)
S | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 12:23 pm | #

I can't do it, you guys. I like babies.

But, good news: Heather Anne! You're on Five Star Friday!

http://www.fivestarfriday.com/20...edition- 57.html
Ashley | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 1:03 pm | #

Yay, Heather! Anne! Whoo!
Jennie! | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 1:14 pm | #

Even unborn babies suck.
My best friend knocked up his wife this past Fall and now "they" are pregnant. Now, he spends all his time with this wife of his getting all turned on by the Scandinavian specialty soft-core pornography they call "breast feeding films" and he can't hardly ever go out and see even R-rated movies any more without getting the approval of his unborn baby and its carrying case.

When this kid is born, I'm going to buy it a chemistry set that includes instructions for making acid and firecrackers and those hot lava volcano models just to get back at him. Oh, and if I ever babysit this little controlling monster, I'm totally going to teach it how to hot-wire cars and pick locks and stuff. As soon as I learn that, I mean.
Network Geek | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 3:10 pm | #

Network Geek -- Can you take care of my child once it's born? That all sounds like fun! (The Scandanavian soft-core porn, however, does NOT!)
S | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 3:46 pm | #

You guys think babies are assholes? Just imagine how assholey they are when they live with you! I mean, you only see the public face of baby-asshole-ishness; it's a whole nuther world when they follow you home and you have to let them in.
shari | Homepage | 06.05.09 - 4:33 pm | #